In the News...

MIME TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME
In Atlantic City, the story of Mr. Cy Lent has come under scrutiny. Once a well-known mime and family man, Mr. Lent is a silent husk of his once great self. His wife, one-time mime groupie Faye Spaint, divorced him recently claiming that she could "no longer take this charade of a marriage". She has taken his dog, children, the house, and his ladder. Cy Lent now lives in a box in the streets. When approached about his situation, he had no comment; at least, not that this reporter could tell. His friends claim that Lent has become morose and "unusually quiet." One friend, his manager Wyatt Gloves, said he thinks "Cy is at the end of his rope. I never would have thought it before, but I think he may be considering: one word, three syllables, sounds like flu-i-cide." Paramedics recently discovered Mr. Cy Lent in his box unresponsive and pale; however, he is now in the hospital and doctors expect him to pull through. This reporter thinks that's a very good thing; after all, a mime is a terrible thing to waste.

Fun Facts:
Did you know that a mime's donkey never berets?

Recently, a survey has shown that one in twelve people secretly harbor a desire to become silent clowns. Apparently, this dream is a mime a dozen.

NEW RULER MAKES SNOOZE
On the other side of the globe, in the tiny country of Uzbekilatvilvania, a new monarch was crowned yesterday. Apparently, the new ruler suffers from narcolepsy; however, since the ruler is mainly a figurehead by tradition in this tiny nation, this is not expected to pose a problem. The head of the country's pariliament had this to say: "The best thing about a sleepy king? It never reigns, but it snores."

-Josh/Nathan out