It is a fact puniversally acknowledged--and not a very surprising one, if you look at the guys--that at least half of all Queen song titles (check if you don't believe us) are also fully functional porno titles. Here's a list of some of the best, with dumb comments attached so I can feel like I did something:

Keep Yourself Alive--X THE WINDOW, X THE WINDOW

My Fairy King--On with your head!

Father to Son--Just a nice game of catch.

The Loser in the End--We don't recommend accepting a bet with these terms.

Ogre Battle--Bears are so last decade.

The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke--Based on a true story.

Flick of the Wrist--This is a short before the main attraction.

Now I'm Here--Our italics, added for emphasis. Get it?

In the Lap of the Gods-Loosey Zeusy. This joke sucks. Nathan wrote it, and now he'll never Hera the end of it. Sorry.

Misfire--We'll pretend it was an accident.

In In Love with My Car--No, seriously.

Tie Your Mother Down--This song actually is about gettin' down, but not in the way the title implies.

All Dead, All Dead--X THE WINDOW, X THE WINDOW!

Fight from the Inside--Possible thanks to the wonders of technology.

If You Can't Beat Them--Stump porn?

Dreamer's Ball--Hahahahaha

Coming Soon--This one is a suspense flick.

Put Out the Fire--The aftermath.

Under Pressure--DOGPILE!!!

Tear it Up

It's a Hard Life--He should probably consult his physician.

Hammer to Fall--Rocky 4-2: The Locker Room

Headlong


We've omitted obvious ones such as fat bottomed girls, because seriously--THERE ARE A LOT. We've also avoided ones that are already about boinking, and ones that could also be schmaltzy romance novels.

In case this post isn't funny, here is the awesomest Queen video. It captures everything that ruled about the band(INCLUDING (spoiler) Brian May playing air guitar in a Bart Simpson t-shirt):